Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
