omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
