Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
