her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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