marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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