I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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