i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
