i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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