Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize