My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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