Plan B is the new Plan A
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
vagina is talking i cant
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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