That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
