3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
id be glad to
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
