I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
