Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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