I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
