Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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