No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
