You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
