69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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