So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
