It's Friday. Sex?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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