you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
