This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
