Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
