Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
