I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
