i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
