How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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