Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
