im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
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