I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
