I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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