who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
