maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
