Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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