I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
