I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
