What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
