I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My pussy is not your playground.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
