Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
