there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
