Dual....:-)
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
