So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize