At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
