We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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