We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
