Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
