So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You are a genius and a whore.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
