It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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