Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
