just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you inspire me to be a worse person
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
